You get to keep the hat!

My mini-road trip to San Francisco was pretty fun. I got to sit in the front seat the entire time while my jiju slept in the back and my jiji drove us. It was interesting how our conversation got real deep and serious all of a sudden--my jiji ended up telling me what her life was like growing up in Fiji and how hard it was for her to watch her parents split up at such a young age.

I have a few memories of jiji's dad (my uncle) and all those memories are pretty fond ones--there's one that is famous in the family and i get teased about it till today even tho it happened 20 yrs ago!-->i was three and i was loved those cream cookies where one cookie was chocolate and the other was vanilla and in the middle there was vanilla creme. anyhoos, i'd be real sneaky w/him and whisper to him: dada, can you get me those cookies? but u have to hide them from my mom! and like a good uncle he'd do my bidding lol we'd sit in the living room and sit real low on the sofa (i was a short toddler but i'd still hide in the couch lol) and we'd eat those cookies and dip 'em in tea. good times :) i got up to some pretty funny shenanigans when i was a kid...and everyone seems to remember and make fun of me for it still...the point is i have pretty fond memories of my uncle.

but apparently he left my aunt for another woman and that tore up the family; jiji was separated from her brothers and sisters and she never had a proper childhood. it was eye-opening to learn all this because for the longest time (or since i spent time with my aunt, jiji's mom, in auckland back in nov) i've been wondering what the hell happened back then. no one would tell me!

i love my aunt, she's like my gramma <3 i got to meet her once we got through that rough stretch of nothingness in between L.A. and San Francisco. I went over to the place she lives at now, and i'm not gonna lie, it's not as amazing or fun as her house in Auckland...and she doesn't have the same amount of freedom. It broke my heart and I couldn't take it...I got emotional but tried to hide it...which just made it worse. It's funny, me and her have a cool bond; we became friends back in november and december--she's taken care of my dad when he was a baby and then she took care of me when i was a 22 yr old baby :P during our bonding time in NZ, we became very close, not the typical relationship a 22 and 70 something yr old would have and so i was able to talk to her at a friend level when i saw her as opposed to how my parents meet w/her...i seem to have that bond w/a few cool ppl in my life where i win them over and they become more than just the obligatory uncle or aunt figure and we become friends...which is kind of unusual in old school fijian world. meh. i'm not complaining--i love it!

before getting to my jiji's house, we visited a couple of family members and i got to regale them with my princess and the backpack stories! it's nice that my stories have the "U DID WHAT?! ALONE?!" effect on ppl lol. i get mad respect. and i can inspire others to try and do the same. i didn't have that when i was figuring out my trip, it was all "how the hell do i pull this off? no other indian girl in my family has done this before...hell, no other person in my family has done this!" i'm a trendsetter in my family. i'm also the rebel. damn proud of it too.

after visiting w/more cousins, we finally headed towards downtown san fran and finally the golden gate bridge :) i was pretty damn happy to go ther--u have no idea! it was nice having my jiji and jiju show me around and all but i think i would've like to have some time alone to just sit and enjoy the view. next time i guess. then finally we got home and i started planning my last day in san fran--it was either going to be a day at six flags (i was kinda scared about that) or shop and grab some lunch (my kind of day). I ended up doing the latter...but cooler! Josie took me to the jelly belly factory and i got to learn how jelly beans are made. ...we were the only pair there that had no kids w/them, we got weird stares lol. and we got funny hats too. they make u wear these ridiculous hats that are supposed to make sure u don't contaminate the jellybeans...which you can't cuz you're so up high and the floor is solid...but whatever, you get to keep the hat!

after the lovely tour, we tried out some jellybeans as well as some fudge and got our free treats and i bought some for myself...so bad! lol but soooo good :P josie and i also tried two of the bad flavours - barf and rotten egg cuz she wanted to make a memory w/me...she's weird lol. barf wasn't too bad, the flavour release was slow, the rotten egg made me want to barf-it was horrid!

after we were done acting like children, we left and headed out to lunch! it was the first time we hung out together since i was "legal" in the states lol so we had some drinks and fun times chatting. i loved being able to see so many people on this mini-vacay; got to reconnect w/old friends, inspire new ones and spend time with loved ones!

and i got to keep the hat...but i left my sunnies behind :(

No Calories, No Worries!

My third day in L.A. was perfect! Jason took me around pretty much anywhere I wanted to see AND I got to go to IHOP! :D jason told me from the get-go not to look at the calories that day, it's all good! and i totally followed orders ;) american ihop is the best, that's all i can say. the cinnabon pancakes were scrumptious as were the hashbrowns and scrambled eggs; i don't think i've ever enjoyed an IHOP meal so much! and the service was pretty darn good...kind of made me assess the whole "rude americans" rep.

After a yummy brekkie, we went to the Queen Mary ship--which honestly, I just thought it was some historic old boat that was a tourist hot-spot to take pictures in front of...at least that's what my mom told me. NOPE! Jason went and bought tickets and I'm wondering why we need tickets to take pictures, then we walked around inside the boat and I realized how cool the Queen Mary really is! The exhibits they had of what the boat was like back in the day were pretty cool and there was a big model of the Titanic and other Titanic-like ships--again this may make me seem nerdy, but it was pretty damn fascinating.

Time came for the tour and it still didn't dawn on me why the tour was called the ghosts and demons tour...till the tour guide started. It was a pretty fun and animated tour and I have to say, I was very entertained and at one time I did scream...a lot. It started off with us watching a movie about the history of the boat (rife with deaths of some passengers), then we went into the old swimming pool area and I swear to god i saw the "lady in white" aka the resident ghost. IT WAS SO FREAKY! My eyes were not playing tricks on me cuz I saw her for a whole five seconds...freakyyyy. Then we went into the a room i can't remember (obviously cuz it wasn't scary!) and then we went down this hallway--however, before we could enter it, the tour guide said "I hope no one is afraid of spiders" ...I pretty much started crying like the poor 4 yr old in our group who was scared out of his mind. I was like I don't want to go there I don't want to go there! ...and of course Jason convinced me to do it and then it happened. Something that felt like spiders was touching my head, going through my hair and uggghhhhh! I freaked out--i started screaming, batting away the "spiders" --pretty much I acted like any girl would who was in a pitch black hallway w/gigantic spiders. Fun times but one of the most memorable moments of the trip! Then we went to the boiler room and learned of this guy that got stuck in this weird box thing and got steamed to death (that puts it lightly)...and then the ship's bow started "leaking" water and we had to evacuate thus ending the tour. awesome tour, i'll probably do it again if i get the chance.

After that we spent some time walking around the boat in the gorgeous sunshine, soaking in the views :) It was a nice chill time. Afterwards, we headed back to my couch-surfing home; my cousin (jason's mom) said we could go and sight-see more and we'd leave for san francisco later on in the night. obviously i was excited cuz another one of my wishes came true--hollywood! Jason drove us through the crazy, narrow, road to the top of this hill where Yamashiro sits. It's the most romantic spot in hollywood or perhaps L.A. AND it's haunted. I know I know, there seems to be a weird theme lol. I got a tour of Yamashiro and the restaurant area is gorgeous and totally the type of place i'd dine...if i wanted to spend 15 on a california roll. please. :P

I also got to see other creepy places, like where the old owner of the restaurant is buried...right next to a table! and I went in the bride room and groom room and the bride room was super cold and the AC wasn't on...yes, i'm sure a spirit was there too. Once the tour of the cool area around the restaurant was over, we went to the hollywood walk of fame!

The hollywood walk of fame was super fun and obviously i turned into this crazy excited tourist who took pictures of EVERYTHING! lol. We went into this mall which was pretty cool; it had some retro restaurants and tons of cool shops AND this cute fountain thing where all these mexican kids were playing. I fell in love w/this chubby 2 yr old who was soooo cute <3 he kept looking at the ground waiting for the water to come out and then when it would he'd get sprayed in his face and make this confused look then start jumping and running. so cute! this mall also had a partial movie set in it--egyptian stuff which looked pretty damn cool. After that we went across the street to a disappointing disney store then made the lovely uphill trek back to Yamashiro--cuz that's where we parked. I thought that after that our trip was over but nope!

Sweet old jason took me to Santa Monica where we got to roam around at the 3rd street promenade. I loved it! I missed that type of scene; lots of those in Australia. There so many shops, cool garden-type statues (dinosaurs!) and random dance classes in the street-mostly salsa. And the piece de resistance--COTTON ON! I saw it and screamed and got really excited and ...ya...cotton on! I fell in love w/that store in New Zealand & Australia--seeing cotton on again made me feel closer to my second home lol.

Oh! I also saw a giant smurf. yes. gigantic. and cute.

After all this sightseeing we got hungry, so we decided to head home and eat. I am pretty lucky to have had such a great tour guide; he took me for thai food. the best thai food i've had yet! every thing was so yummy :) and the owners of the place were nice enough to let us stay until after closing.

Throughout this day, Jason made me laugh a lot, gave me good advice and we basically got to reconnect after not seeing each other for a few years. I remember how we were when we were younger--i was super excited there were kids in my family cuz my brother and I are the youngest kids on my dad's side of the family--till we met Jason and Josie who came from Cali :) but he was shy and no matter how much i tried, that kid wouldn't talk to me. the second time he came he was a bit better and we watched nutty professor (where he laughed like crazy!), i made him one of those paper fortune teller things (i still remember how excited he was when i gave it to him) and tons of stuff. we've always kept in touch w/each other through facebook or emails but this trip reminded me i gotta make the time and effort to see people who are important to me. If not to make new memories, then at least to reconnect and remember our good times.

With that said, I was pretty sad when our day was over--I couldn't believe I had to leave for San Fran and not know when exactly I'd see him again; unsure if I would see him before his deployment in Florida...but all good things gotta come to an end to ensure that new, even better things can happen for you.

And that's where I leave you folks--till the next installment of my stay in San Fran and my trip to the Jelly Belly Factory :P

L.A. Baby!!

i stole jason's balloons after the party. tee hee!

Having my cousin and mom pick me up from the airport was the best--we got to have some girl bonding time which never happens! My cousin is an inspiration for me; she's accomplished so much in her life. She was a single mom who worked her butt off and kicked ass in whichever field she was in--real estate, party planning, etc. Ever since I was a kid, I looked up to her because she achieved so much and got to travel the world; she did things that usual fijian ladies never even bother trying to accomplish.

The drive from the airport was pretty funny; I was updated about the party's status, about the morning's events (cuz my folks got to L.A. before I did) and there was also some car dancing involved lol. L.A. traffic is like nothing I've seen before--there's construction every block, there's five lane highways yet we were stuck in grid lock all because americans love their cars and don't use public transit. Probably because their public transit sucks. SUCKS!

Anyhoos, we did some shopping before heading to my couchsurfing stay. I'm glad to say that all the shopping I did was of the necessities nature--body lotion, face wash, purses and shoes. lol Finally after 6 hrs of travelling and 3 hours of shopping I reached my "home" in L.A.--my cousin's friend who is older than my dad. It was nice of him to let me stay with him albeit a bit cramped. I got to rest for like an hour and then we headed over to the temple (...ya i know, not my thing but when ur at the mercy of other ppls accomodation, then you gotta deal with the "when in Rome" situation). I was hoping this would be a trip where my marriage would not be brought up...but that was naive of me. I'm of fijian descent, 23 and "sundar" lol so it's gonna come up whether i like it or not. My cousin's husband was bugging me that that night i would get set up with someone. and lo and behold i did. i was mortified. like beyond horrified to the point where i couldn't figure out if i wanted to yell or cry...it is beyond me how people just pick a person to marry their son based on the way the girl looks. totally stone age.

The whole purpose of the trip to the temple, other than bore the crap out of me, was to surprise cadet ram cuz he had no idea we came for his party :) and what an awesome surprise it was! it was very clear on his face how happy he was to see us, and that reminded me that it's really important to keep in touch with your family...the sane ones at least :P

Jason and I got to reconnect after the puja and of course he gave me some protective advice. jason's always protective...a little too protective lol but it's all good--he's a good man. which is why his mommy dearest (my cousin) had the party for him. cadet ram put himself thru school working nights as a security officer in hollywood! i know! uber cool; and he proved the educational system wrong when he emerged from the special ed grp and became a successful uni grad and soon-to-be officer in the air force.

and a perk about having a family member in the air force is that he can take you to a flight museum where you can sit in a plane and pretend to be a pilot and first officer :) that's right! suzybee was a pilot/first officer for a day and she got to wear a captain's hat lol. good times, one of the unexpected joys of the trip for sure.

the party itself was very fun; lots of food, drinks (...no rum tho...fijian party w/o rum just seems wrong lol) and of course dancing. i dunno how this happened but i turned out to be the only girl my age there...surrounded by old uncles who stared at me creepily and old aunties who glared at me; fun times lol. it's all good--i looked good in my sari, my folks and cousin looked amazing in their outfits and we rocked the dancefloor.

but looking amazing has its price. when i was taking a break from dancing, the pundit (hindu version of a priest) came up to me and was drunk and asked if i wanted to get married. he just flat out said it and i wasn't sure if he was asking for himself but i prayed to god that he wasn't asking for him lol. i was like noooooo i don't. he said why? i lied and said i was still in school. he said what if he found me an "aacha larka" (usual speak for a good boy...which made me cringe...i don't want a good boy lol). i said i still don't want to get married. he was trying to sell this mystery boy on me saying he's nice and handsome, has his B.A. and is doing his M.B.A. ...these things don't really matter to me...and i was pissed he wouldn't leave me alone...and i started laughing cuz he thought i'd give a shit about the dude's education. i said talk to my dad cuz i knew my dad would say no. he said he talked to my dad. and i said what did my dad say? and the pundit just stayed quiet. i guess the pundit didn't realize i had a mind of my own and judged me based on my appearance at the party--quiet, reserved and pretty. i was quiet and reserved cuz the only ppl i had to talk to were ppl 40+...and the pretty part, well that's just natural ;) so he went on to say he had a proposal and then asked if i was really 16...which was bizarre so i said yes. and he looked pissed and left.

and if that wasn't enough, this creepy old man who parts his hair straight down the middle of his head (ask me for my demonstration/sign language i have for this, it's funny lol) comes up to me from behind and pats me on the shoulder and says "you like to dance huh baby?" then he rubbed my shoulder. that was disgusting; i was pretty upset and left right then and there. w/the balloons tied around my wrist lol. i grabbed jason and we booked it outta there and headed to my "home".

it never ceases to amaze me how backwards fijian society sometimes is--they have an odd sense of life; they value education in a classroom more than education by living in the world. they think that there's only one way to do things. and they think that every girl between the ages of 18-24 is prime marriageble material. i don't know if this will ever end and the only thing i can think of doing to avoid such talk is to never ever go to an indian function again. and to stay away from temples. which doesn't really bother me, nor am i missing out on much--i don't go to temples anyways and there's hardly ever any indian parties...so i think i'll be safe. i hope.

stay tuned for the next entry: suzybee invades hollywood.

Couchsurfing Ed. - Part One It comes naturally

woooo! princess and the backpack is back for a five day couchsurfing trip :)

Firstly, I'd like to say I'm extremely happy to be travelling again--waking up at the ungodly hour of 4am was nothing once I cleared security and customs and saw my plane waiting for me. I chose to go the connecting route which does take up alot of your time; however, if you have nothing better to do than just sit around and read and educate yourself then why not go the connecting flight route and save $100! It was exhilirating being able to travel again after my backpacking trip--the trip was not as long as the original trip; however, it was just as special. I got to use one of the tricks I learned on that trip--be nice to all airport officials. Little things like saying how are you is appreciated and I got some nice hook-ups--free seat upgrades, jumping the long line-ups, etc :D

My flight to Portland was...interesting lol. Of course, with my luck i have a weird brown stalker man who ends up sitting next to me on the plane. He kept asking me questions awkwardly. He started getting personal, asking me my age and profession and education. Finally he asked me if was interested in sports. I said hockey and he started asking questions about it but using baseball references...which led me to realize the man is talking out of his ass lol. I couldn't really take it any more; I was tired after waking up so early and couldn't really make random conversation so I told him imma take a nap and that ended the awkward conversation. He was sweet enough but if you are gonna talk to me at least make eye contact; the entire time we talked to each other he was looking at the headrest of the seat in front of him...and i thought to myself "this crazy man is talking to a piece of furniture" and then i started giggling lol. Being a single, "hindustani"* 23 yr old created a few odd situations on this trip...a few too many...which I'll get into later.

*hindustani: individual of indian heritage--after my trip to fiji I accepted my roots; however, that doesn't mean i follow the old-fashioned rules and traditions of arranged marriages, or partake in religous events...or pretty much do what my parents wished i did lol.

Portland airport was ok, nice areas to sit and eat or sleep. Or do walking lunges :P Got on my next flight to LAX to find I was seated in the emergency exit row!! And I had a bunch of annoying teenage boys behind me who kept making fart noises then laughing at their cleverness. ...yes, i wanted to smack them then I realized this was good--at least I know i'll never be a cougar and go after younger boys lol. I know, I know, my humour is awesome :P The view from my window was beautiful; I love geography and seeing the different patterns of trees or mini-mountain ranges, etc. The scenery was relaxing and put me at ease.

Finally got to LAX and I was super tired but running on adrenaline. The gate brought back memories of my backpacker trip days as this was where i caught my flight to auckland. I got lost...and then found my way out. I know what you're thinking--there's only one way out, how could you get lost? cuz there's only ONE way out! lol. Got outside finally and after a bit of searching I found my cousin and my mom :) Now I should let you all know now, my cousin is as old as my dad--that's cuz my gramma had A LOT of babies and my cousin's dad is the oldest bro and my dad is the youngest, hence the age difference. lovely brown relations. which is why my nephew (or cousin removed or watever white ppl call it :P), Cadet Jason Ram, is older than me. but it's all good. Ok, back to the story, I was so excited and kept saying "eeeee! i'm in L.A.!" it was sunny, gorgeous and hot. and smurf-ified. seriously, everywhere i went i saw smurfs. anyhoos, i couldn't have asked for a better first day in L.A.; my cousin, mom and I went shopping and bought the entire store practically. I'm not into labels (except lululemon & victoria secret) but i saw some really nice nine west purses and then i saw the price for them and had to buy 'em.

It was so nice to reconnect with my family for this trip :) I miss my family a lot and to be able to bond with them and do stuff we take for granted, like shop, eat or even go to the temple was lovely(...yes, they dragged me to a temple where my worst nightmare took place, which i'll get into later). I'm blessed to have this opportunity and to see these individuals again.

Next entry--L.A. baby! lovely events that took place during my first two days in L.A.

coffee crisp bites

since I started my little backpacking adventure with a bag of coffee crisp bites, i thought it'd be momentous to close my amazing journey with a bag of coffee crisp bites...especially since coffee crisp is non-existent in oz

I've probably told all of you why I came back home early but to summarize I realized I got everything I could ever hope for and want out of that chapter of my life and had to come back home to figure a few things out. I'm not going to lie, I miss Oz ALOT! I miss the freedom, the sunshine, darling harbour, george st, lol you name it i miss it. BUT I'm glad to be back.

The past month has been difficult for a few reasons--home life is one of them. Let's just say its not the optimal situation over here right now but i'm working on it to the best of my abilities. Jet lag hasn't been pretty either--it started off with me being awake only 7 hrs a day and being really groggy those 7 hrs. then it turned into me being awake 20 hrs a day and being really "chatty" during those hrs...like nonsensical chatty. at least i can say i was entertaining. and now the jet lag is somewhat under control...i sleep for like 6 hrs. which is disgusting compared to the 10 hr naps i had the past four months! :P working out kind of helped, especially during those midday slumps where i was awake but not really aware of what's going on...just so all of you know the number of days it takes to get over jet lag is determined by the number of time zones you have crossed. so since oz was like 29 hrs ahead of vancouver i think i'm nearing the end of this lovely side-effect of princess adventure life :)

one of the best things about being back is of course seeing my friends and family-->and seeing their excited expressions because they can't believe i did what i did. hell, i can't believe i did what i did! my parents, surprisingly but then again not surprisingly, wouldn't let go of me--and i have to say that day i got the best bear hug from my dad :) ...my mom wouldn't stop crying...no matter what i do,i can't make that woman happy lol. reggie was all "where's my presents?" nani was pretty happy too, she thought she was dreaming. i know, i know: cue the "awwww!". catching up with them was the best and i realized that I want to have them in my life always...but that isn't realistic nor possible. part of growing up is not having them let go of me, but me letting go of them. that didn't sink in till last night. while eating my coffee crisp bites and reading oxygen magazine--shhhh that was soooo bad lol.

seeing my friends for the first time was amazing too--not quite what i imagined because i forgot to factor in everyone's busy schedules BUT when we finally coordinated times to meet up it was sweeeeet <3 a friend from my travels told me i would come back to real life and have a different outlook on everything and my friends may or may not like it and you may end up realizing you don't fit in anymore...i just waved that away...and now i know that she was kinda right. it's not an entirely bad thing--having a new outlook on life is allowing me to help my friends make better decisions and see things from a different viewpoint. BUT at the same time, certain things aren't as fun as they used to be :( which is again part of growing up...at least i still love spongebob squarepants as much as i did before i left. ...perhaps even moreso. lol joking. not moreso. the same.

the best part about coming back is being ready to take control of my life and having a clear idea of what i want in life. i'm not saying i didn't know that before--quite the opposite, i knew EVERYTHING and had it all planned out. ...which is very unrealistic. when you build unrealistic goals you set yourself up for unnecessary stress. cuz believe me, i used to worry when things wouldn't work out and i couldn't realize why it wasn't working...

i'm not saying it's bad to dream big--dream as big as you want--just realize that it takes ALOT of work for your dreams to come true and nothing will happen overnight. my trip is the perfect example; i wanted to do this trip in 09 but it wasn't meant to be. I had to plan and plan and re-plan and save save then save some more then finally just buy the ticket; doing this trip now was for the best :)

i'm sitting here with my backpack, Charles, staring sadly at me...and i'm reassuring myself and Charles that there will be more Princess and the Backpack adventures in the future... but right now, princess has to put her backpack away and pick up some dumbbells.

so for now, this is the end to princess and the backpack...

it's just the beginning for princess :)

cheers mate!

It's Just the Beginning

So I know you all probably think I'm crazy for cutting my trip a tad short and coming home--at times I wonder if I'm crazy too lol--but in all truthfulness I did it because I wanted to come back. I never thought I'd ever be at that point in my journey where I came back because I wanted to, not because I had to. I'm glad I got to that point :)

Let's face it: I was pretty miserable before I left for this amazing backpacking adventure of mine; working 9-5 at a crummy job, listening to other people's negativity day in and day out and floating through my life watching the days go by...ok maybe i'm being a tad melodramatic but the idea is that I was bored and unhappy. I had amazing things going on in my life--awesome friends, a fab yoga teacher who nurtured my yoga practice and taught me alot about myself and a pretty great support system at my gym lol--but something was missing in my life. My personal goals were somewhat up in the air; I found myself saying many times "I know what I want, I just don't know how to get there"...which was frustrating to say the least.

I grew up knowing that I would be an independent woman and didn't need anyone to take care of me. I figured I'd have a job and be able to fend for myself, no problem! Then after this trip, I realized, there's so much more to "taking care of yourself" than just the financials. You need to be mentally strong in order to survive--you need to have faith in yourself and know that you can do whatever the hell you want when you put your mind to it...AND fuck everything else. The self-realization didn't require a trip halfway around the world; I had these skills in me but never got the chance to use any of them till recently. It seems that putting myself in unpredictable situations brought out the best in me. Also, if you are an independent person or not, you need to know who your true friends are because sooner or later you will need someone to talk to, someone to make you feel better and I'm glad I had some great people looking out for me :) ...even if I wouldn't admit that I wanted their help :P

The experiences of my trip aren't exactly what I expected...the moments I laughed, cried, danced and LIVED surpassed my expectations :) I thought I'd just go and do a bunch of sight-seeing and see what happens lol and instead it somehow turned itself into this gigantic adventure where I learned alot about myself, my friends, my family and the world. Which is why, after my return from Fiji to Sydney, I had a really big problem. I realized that I was ready to head home; however, I was dealing with some MAJOR denial. I tried to think about it rationally for two days--whether or not I should stay, what are the pros and cons, and why exactly I wanted to stay. And I kept going in circles...really big, weird circles. Thankfully I had my bestie Sana to help me through all this and she helped me organize my thoughts and see things at a different standpoint.

And I realized I had to come back because I wanted to come back--whatever I was meant to achieve on this trip had been achieved and dragging out my trip may have sucked the essence out of it...like how you have this really yummy chocolate bar (like the gigantic cadbury ones from oz) and you want to feel the chocolate-induced bliss forever so you only eat one piece a month and then a year and a half later you go to eat the last piece and its stale. stale and disgusting. that's what i didn't want for my adventure. a stale and disgusting aftertaste. (and btw, my chocolate bar analogy is not an actual experience, i gobbled all the chocolates up w/in the 1st week of opening the pack...if even that :P lol)

So this doesn't mark the end of my backpacking adventure--this is just the beginning baby :D ...the beginning of what? ...keep reading and you'll find out <3

*muah*

Never Look Back

Australia's coat of arms portrays the kangaroo and emu as the unofficial animals of Australia. Why, you ask? Because those are the only two animals that can't walk backwards :) I've learned alot on my travels and one of them was to not look back; always keep your life moving forward in a positive direction. Whether the positive direction means having no regrets, achieving your goals or whatever, you can be assured that Aussies live life to the fullest.

That is one thing I admire about Australians--especially my cousin. I've learned alot on my trip and have to say I did live life to the fullest, perhaps for the first time in my entire life! I can happily say that I don't have any regrets about my travels--yes, I've been stressed out plenty-a-times but it's all worked out and I have great experiences to show for it.

Throughout my travels and living in different countries, I've seen and experienced how people can have different mentalities and how this affects their well-being. New Zealanders were pretty carefree and happy but there was always this element of restrictiveness...something was always holding them back, whether that was money or inhibitions or something. In Fiji, I noticed a few people were very concerned about their past and what happened to them back then and how those events are affecting them now. And unfortunately, these people let those fears and experiences hinder their present experiences and future aspirations. A wise man once told me 'Life is for living' and that's what I intend to do and I hope you all do the same. Go ahead and make mistakes because you never know what will happen unless you try, right? Go jump out of a plane, go ahead and drink 7 bottles of wine--whatever it is, just do it! You never know what will happen tomorrow.

Everyone has their own outlook on life and I respect that--however, don't let it inhibit your happiness :) If you're happy reading a book and staying home on a friday night, do it! If you're happy partying all weekend then do it! (but be responsible!). ...And if you want to pack your bags and go travel for a few months and please go do it :) Travelling is one of the best things I've done in my life along with being born, winning the sack race in kindy, graduating from uni and raising money for the underwear affair (which reminds me...must start training! :P)

It's important not to mix up looking back and hating your life with reflecting on your experiences and learning from them. Since I've returned from Fiji, I feel whole again. It sounds odd as I thought I was whole before I left on the trip but in reality, you never stop growing; not when your 7, 27 or even 77! I've been looking back at my trip and the Suzanne who started this trip in Auckland NZ is not the same Suzanne who looked back at me in the mirror this morning. It's so weird but I just can't believe how much I've grown. It's pretty damn amazing what this trip has done for me. It's taught me to be strong (...even though i've had times where i've cried on this trip...sorry if you had to listen to me on the phone crying), to learn how to know what i want, and to understand that i am allowed to be happy and i shouldn't have to sacrifice that for others.

One thing the old Suzanne always did was worry what other people thought of her and worry about the repurcussions of what they would say about her. Now, I don't care. I mean, I will take into consideration the advice people give me but I'm not going to waste my time on what gossip mongers may be saying about me or what random distant relatives may think of me--the same family members who have known me my whole life but haven't shown me the same love and good times as my bhaia in Oz has who has only known me for 3 months :)

Today I ate at the Lindt Chocolate Cafe and mannnnnn was it good! :) I know for a fact that I've gained weight and won't fit into half my clothes back home but i don't care. And I know that I will still have to work on my relationship with my family when I get back (which I care about) but I won't stress about it. Cuz in the end, there's no need to stress about life. Just live it the way you want to, be happy and deal with whatever comes you way.

Cheers <3

Fiji is paradise

Well I finally did it! I finally went to Fiji to see where I'm from and to experience what that paradise has to offer. And I have to say, I had the time of my life!

The start of my journey to Fiji was very difficult--my flight got cancelled two days in a row (eff virgin blue to hell! seriously) and then i finally got onto the Air Pacific flight the afternoon of the 24th :) After a couple of delays I arrived in Nadi, Fiji and it was getting dark. The one thing that made the past two days' worth of misery disappear was seeing my aunt and uncle waiting for me. I hadn't seen my aunt in 10 years and I've never even met my uncle--it was a dream come true to see them waiting for me at the airport...sadly, they were waiting for me since 2pm :( I felt pretty bad that they waited for me all day and didn't know about my flight delay till it was too late. but that's all over and done with. from the second i met up with them to the moment we said our goodbyes, they gave me so much love--so much that i almost didn't want to leave fiji!

The main purpose of my trip was to see where I come from and to see all my family. It was kind of a shock to find out I don't have tons and tons of relatives in Fiji--my Fua and Fufa (aunt and uncle) and my cousin Binnu on my dad's side and my two mausis and mausas and a nana (grand uncle or great uncle whatever its called). It was lovely meeting everyone; they welcomed me into their homes with open arms and so much love. So much so that it was really hard to leave :( I was thinking about extending my stay in Fiji but the mosquitoes had their own agenda...

Every morning I woke up to find more and more mosquito bites. And these weren't itty bitty mossie bites, they would swell up and were uber itchy. At one point, both my legs were filled with bites :( Ugh, it super sucked.

My Fua and Fufa are super cute--they're both in their 70s and kind of ill but they were the best tour guides I could ask for :) Fufa was very enthusiastic about showing me everything there is to see in Fiji and of making sure I had a good time. And I did! I ate the yummiest food ever at his place--the jam was delish, the taro and cassava was the best and my favourite food in fiji has to be the biscuits :P chocolate biscuits have no actual chocolate chips in them BUT they tasted like chocolate :) yummers. They're mechanic/house helper named Sanjay also lived with us in Pacific Harbour and it was pretty cool having him there. He was kind of shy in the beginning but after a couple of days we became good friends. One thing I really love about people in Fiji is that they are very open and loving--totally different from the treatment you would get in Australia or New Zealand or even Canada for that matter! It was really hard to say good bye to everyone :(

Staying with my mausi and mausa was really fun too. I had three cousins to hang out with--the youngest is Nikita and she turned me into a 8 year old again :P I played so many games with her and watched movies, it was fun. ...kinda tiring at times but fun :)

The scenery in Fiji was gorgeous--when I stayed at my mausi's house, we have to go to the outside sink to brush our teeth and from the "window" you have this gorgeous view of the mountains--which are covered with trees, lush beautiful trees! And the frangipanis are everywhere! loved it <3

So much to say about Fiji yet I can't put my experiences and joy into words! So much happened in those short two weeks...

Ahh Fiji!

Mixology

It's finally here---I'm heading to fiji tomorrow morning :) I've been super excited about this trip but as usual there's other emotions popping into my head.

I should probably accept it now that I'm indian and no matter how much I refuse to get mixed into it, I'll always have to deal with drama and screwed up crap. I was naive to think that my trip to Fiji would be a simple trip where I can learn about my ancestors and gain an appreciation for my heritage...I guess as long as I learn about it in whichever manner, I'm happy :) I haven't even stepped into the country and there's drama about who's gonna pick me up, how they will pick me up, what I have to do in the aiport, etc etc etc. And I wish I could just arrange it myself; but if it makes people happy that they can do it for me then great...but people shouldn't go around and change someone else's plans...I guess I'm just frustrated that people keep changing the plans and if plans are gonna change then they should because I changed them. Despite all this "khichri" (name of an indian dish which is also used to indicate mixedupness), I am thankful that someone is picking me up & taking me to my aunt's house, fingers crossed!

Aside from the usual bumpy start to my adventures, I'm pretty happy and excited about my fiji adventure. I talked to my mom and dad today and I could tell they were excited for me :) They're proud that I am meeting their family over there :) and don't worry mom and dad, i'll leave a good impression on 'em!

I've been given tons and tons of advice from my parents, my cousin and his wife and even from random neighbours lol and I really do appreciate it. I know I'm heading into a country who's situation and lifestyle I can't really imagine--and I feel super mixed up right now. I'm excited about the trip for sure but i'm so nervous/scared...and then i'm trying to tell myself that i'll be fine and i have people over there that will take care of me and then i flip flop and say well i should be able to take care of myself and then i arrive at the conclusion that i'll be fine. which is a less enthusiastic conclusion than i would've liked but i'll take what i can get. which makes no sense since i'm the one controlling my thought patterns. ...anyone got any ideas as to what all this nonsense is due to? nervousness? why am i so nervous?...and here we go again in circles lol.

so. mixed. up.

yay for fiji :D

Anticipation

I can't wait to get to Fiji! When I was a kid, I never wanted to visit Fiji because of all the horror stories I heard about the mosquitos, lizards and heat. And it was uber expensive and I didn't see any point in making my parents pay to take me to a place that I didn't even want to go to. And when I originally planned my Oz trip for Winter 09, Fiji wasn't on my radar.

Disappointment doesn't even begin to describe how I felt when I couldn't go on this trip in 09; I know now that I wasn't mentally or emotionally ready for this trip at that time. ...which probably explains why I'm finally ready to go to Fiji and see where I come from. I'm not going to lie, I am kind of nervous about going to Fiji but the excitement of meeting my extended family and finally seeing this paradise will make the nervousness disappear in two seconds!

I've experienced a fear of the unknown a few times on my trip and before my trip for that matter and sometimes it makes you feel like crap. It makes you doubt your decisions, choices and direction in life and sometimes it brings you to that point where you don't have enough courage to go through with a decision. ...Sadly, I let that happen once; I don't regret it since i can't even remember what it was I didn't do lol. I'm glad I didn't do it or else I wouldn't have figured out what the fear of the unknown was and its power; for the longest time, it was staring at me in the face and I couldn't really put my finger on what the fear of the unknown was. The fear of the unknown is very small compared to the power of anticipation but they're kind of the same thing...both have you waiting for the same experience to come around the corner :)

I anticipated this trip for two years and when the time finally came to leave Vancouver, I experienced an immense fear of the unknown; thankfully, I have great people in my life who supported me and reminded me why the trip is important to me. Then I anticipated meeting all my family members and was nervous about meeting them too...almost ruled out meeting them altogether. However, I was smart and went and met all the family members I could and man do I have stories! Lol, it's been a great learning experience, lots of crap I really shouldn't know but it's all good--its all an experience. Some of the best experiences I've had are the ones where I didn't think twice about doing them--like my skydive. I kind of went into robot w/a heart and big smile mode and just did it. A single negative thought didn't enter my mind--unless you count "omg its soooo cold up here!" as negative...

Lately, I've really been anticipating coming home :) Not because I'm homesick or don't think I can do this, but moreso because I really miss certain restaurants or foods (they don't even have graham crackers over here! WTF?!), I miss my hairstylist, my yummy vanilla mint shampoo, my bed, my iMac, my spot on the sofa...and what else? seems like i'm forgetting something... OH YA! My family and friends :P You guys are top on my list! So for this week, ever since I've returned from my 1 month Oz tour adventure, I've been imagining what it'll be like when I see everyone for the first time, what I'll say, what they'll say :P kinda dorky but I can't help it. and there's no fear <3

cheers mate!
<3 you

Regrets

Ever since I learned what the word regret meant, I always thought there was one form of regret--the feeling you have when you miss out on something. But in all honesty, there's many reactions that will fall under regret and on this journey of mine, I've seen and felt alot of them.

From the get-go, one of my main goals was ensuring that I didn't miss out on anything that peaked my interest or was just plain cool! As demonstrated by my skyjump and skydive, I made sure I had no regrets :) And at this point in my journey, I can say I have no regrets as far as taking part in experiences is concerned. This trip has taught me to listen to my heart and really know what I want from life and not just jump on the bandwagon because someone tells me to do something or because it would be good for me. I had glimpses of this personal freedom during my yoga practice; however, they were fleeting moments--nothing as long-lasting and amazing as my time right now.

But in the past month, I have learned that regret can come in many different forms. A surprising focus of my trip was to see where I come from and to meet people who could enrich my understanding of life "back home" aka Fiji--and for the most part I've met some great people. There have been a few hiccups here and there but for the most part it's been a great ride. And I encountered a new form of regret--the "i did this for me, it blew up in my face and i hate it, but i'm still glad i did this or i would never have known" regret. All I can say is I was invited to a cousin's place who seemed sincere about having me over and I thought he wanted to meet me but it turned into this hindu showdown where I was analyzed and dissected by a bunch of people who I didn't know and I had to stand on trial and prove why I'm not insane by their standards. It was a long and interesting weekend. At least I got pancakes out of it and an uber comfy bed! Not the perfect way I wanted to end my stay in Melbourne but whatever--woulda, coulda, shoulda!

This trip has been quite liberating for me too--as you all can probably tell lol--and it's brought out a new side of me that I didn't realize was possible. I'm more gutsy than before and I've done some stupid things...wait, scratch that. I've asked some stupid things and wish I didn't know certain things about people--this showed me another form of regret: the "why did i open my big mouth/why can't i just wait for the other person to be a man and tell me?" regret. lol. Let's just say I probably didn't time certain things properly and even though it seemed like a good idea, it kind of blew up in my face lol. But it's all good. Had I not been stupid then I would've had the age old regret of "why didn't i do it?".

I guess what I'm trying to say in this weird, half-drunk blog is god or the universe or your mom gave you life and you need to LIVE it. The end result may not be perfect 100% of the time; however, lessons you learn about yourself and other people are well worth the effort. Instead of spending your life wishing you had done this or that when you were at whatever age, spend your life doing things and remembering how you felt during those experiences and trying to learn something from them. I.e.: I came to a certain cousin's house to reconnect with him and to learn about my roots; instead I was bombarded with strict hindu rules and a character trial--> what did i learn? to try and see things from the other person's point of view and keep a cool head and see the silver lining (pancakes).

& Now the not so silver lining...they won't drop me off at the airport so I have to take a stupid shuttle which will take 1 hr and drop me to the airport 2 hrs before my flight. yippee for waking up at 5am. NOT!

cheers :)

i heart alice springs

So I know I should update my blog since so much has happened since Western Australia and yet I don't know what to write!

My stay in Alice Springs was amazing and I don't know if my writing will do its beauty any justice but I'm sure as hell gonna try.

My departure from Perth was kind of scary as a cyclone was about to hit South-Western Australia and it was forecasted to hit when my flight was going to be leaving Perth Airport...saying I was terrified is putting it lightly. Thankfully I have great people in my corner who I was able to talk to and they help me put at ease my fears. Once I got safely to Alice Springs, I fell in love :) I mean the beginning of my journey to Alice was awesome--I got to walk on the tarmac to my plane lol--it's the little things that entertain me, alright? And then after boarding the plane I had quite the bumpy ride but could see the terrain and geography change between Western Australia and the Northern Territory. The airport in Alice Springs is super cute, it's like one tiny building with only one line for screening and one carosel for baggage. I loved the small town feeling. My hostel...well it wasn't great but it had a/c so in that respect it was great. Walking around the town for the first time was scary--having been warned by the locals about the aboriginal people, i was pretty scared. But once I got to town, it was pretty cool--uber tiny town! but they have a coles and wollys (superstore and safeway equiv) and a kmart and kfc and VERY FAR AWAY was the mc donalds (or macca's as its called here...iunno why)

Then finally the day came when I got to go on my long-awaited 3 day uluru/kings canyon/kata tjuta tour with the rock tour group. And it was total bliss. I was so worried about camping in swags out in the dark with all the dirt but it turns out i fared alot better than the other girls--in true suzanne fashion ;) one asian chick kept screaming everytime she saw a grasshopper...u can imagine how much i wanted to smack her.

the first day we went to kings canyon aka the hardest hike of all three days and it was such a nice change of pace from western australia where all you do is either see beaches or drive places. it was a 3 hr climb and it was well worth allthe sweat and grime. and then we had lunch then drove a long while till we got to the place we would get our firewood--the side of the road in the bush lol. It was quite a liberating experience breaking all the branches and logs--got to use my muscles finally (or whatever strength was left in 'em). Then by the time we got to the campsite it was pitch black which didn't make setting up camp any easier but its all good. We got all the firewood down from the top of the trailer, then got the fire started and finally started cooking. Then we started playing campfire games like never have i ever and would u. that day was the first day of my life where i peed in the bush AND didn't take a shower after getting grimy and sweaty...it was pretty hard but all good i survived!

the second day was supposed to be easier hiking the kata jtuta aka the olgas but it ended up being super steep and i injured my knee :( the group was very supportive and i was able to keep going on and my tour guide was super sweet and said i was a trooper and helped me alot! this was also the day i saw uluru for the first time and i can't believe it but i fell in love :) it was so beautiful and knowing what kind of culture and history went into that "rock" as some people call it, i was speechless. ...i actually teared up and it was kinda funny lol. anyhoos, we went and did the mala walk where we saw some cave drawings and learned the cultural/dream stories behind the mala walk. then we drove to a sunset viewing spot that was filled with alot of tourists-all the old ppl who spend 2000 to see uluru and have champagne while they do so along with other backpackers. the sunset wasn't that great cuz it was cloudy but it was still a great experience chilling with all the group--who by the way, have to be my fave group so far :)

the third day we woke up at 430...yes it was a disgusting time. i had to wake up before the sun two days in a row! but it was nice lol...i was pretty groggy till 6am and i couldn't understand how everyone else was so chatty. we saw the sunrise and got to see uluru change colours and it was pretty cool. we also sat around and got to bond with each other over breakfast :P after that we had the choice of doing the base walk (9-10k, the previous walks were around 8 or 9km per day) or doing a portion of it. my knee was bothering me so i opted for a portion of it. it was pretty damn amazing and i can't understand how i love uluru so much. afterwards we drove to a station stop for lunch and it was nice how the entire group clicked. i guess it was cuz we all saw each other at our worst (early morning puffy faces or late day sweaty disheveled faces) and we were so comfortable with each other, uber awesome.

after saying bye to everyone, we got ready to see each other again and to party at the rock bar. that was an awesome night. had amazing yummy shots and got a bit drunk and even started dancing where there was no dancefloor (the entire place didn't have a dancefloor lol) it was fantastic. and the tour guide is a great person, she encouraged us to just be ourselves and eff the rest. and my meal! it was soooo good :)

so all in all alice springs was pretty damn good to me and i hope to visit it again some time. ...if not for uluru then for sure for the rock bar lol

...

i guess i found something to write about lol :P

bye bye perthie! :P

Hey all,

it's my last day in perth and i'm heading off to alice springs tomorrow! i can't wait--this is going to be an experience of a lifetime; intense heat, intense hikes AND best of all BUSH CAMPING! yes, i've been nervous about it but i realized everything i was worrying about is pretty petty :) this next week is going to be amazing :D

...and the next 16 hours will be quite interesting as well. a few cyclones are heading towards australia--two towards queensland and one towards perth. eeep! it's supposed to get to the southern coast of australia around the same time my flight will depart--i have faith in the flight crew of qantas and know that the passengers' safety will be their number one priority. i'm not going to lie though, the past couple of days have been stressful because i was pretty worried about my flight being cancelled and thusly missing out on my tour and everything else i have planned afterwards. but thankfully i have lots of great people in my corner, like my mom and anne, who comforted me and it helped me realize that whatever happens, happens and it's all good. i'll deal with whatever happens when it happens. the universe is watching over me and knows what i want and will take care of me :)

as far as my planning for alice springs and my uluru rock tour goes, i've got the right mindset and i've prepped as much as i can as far as gear goes...so all i have to do is just do it -- as a wise sydneysider told me (my cousin sunil) :P

i'll be w/o internet and reception for 3/4 days for sure so you may not be hearing from me for a that time but i'll be ok and i'll write soon. take care all

Kalbarri, Monkey Mia, Northbridge--> What a ride!

Hey all
I'm back from my tour around the northern half of Western Australia and it was quite the adventure. Prior to my departure, I was battling with a bout of homesickness (yes, i'm finally admitting it :P); thankfully, I spoke to my family over the phone and bawled my eyes out in public lol and they helped me get stronger. And I had my awesome friends supporting me too! I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLL! It was hard for me to go on my tour but I did it and I'm so glad I did.

I didn't expect the heat to be so overwhelming--being a Bikram Yoga addict I thought I was quite prepared for any kind of heat...WRONG! lol On the second day of the tour after the intense gorge hike, I became dehydrated for the rest of the day and got pretty nauseous. I went pale (apparently under my tan, you can still tell if i get pale...i'll take their word for it lol) and got dizzy and it was horrible. The entire day I kept thinking I can't get through this tour and I need to go back. Thankfully, I had Lina, who was also unwell, and we both got through it and were each other's strength :) I made it to Monkey Mia and I'm very happy I did. The "resort" was pretty nice, as were the dolphins!!! This tour wasn't mindblowing or anything, but it was truly a learning experience--learning how to cope with dehydration, learning to combat it early, learning not to let bogans get in the way of your fun and re-learning to appreciate the small things, like clouds shaped like australia :P

The tour group dynamic was similar to that of the dynamic you'd find back in aeroguard :S yucky! lol There was one group of people, I'll call them the caucasian bogans (aussie for trailer trash), who divided themselves from the group and pretty much hated on everyone. Lina and I were "picked" on for having better jobs and more education on them--as nicki minaj says: if they're gonna hate me cuz i'm so "established", haters you can kill yourselves. It was interesting seeing how people interact...or not interact. There were some asian girls who were a few grains of rice short of a sushi roll and they pretended not to know english. I finally got them to start talking lol and they knew quite a bit! Then there were the french girls who only talk to you if they need something. Then there were the bogans who only talk when they're not drinking. Then there was us normal girls who were there to actually see the country and enjoy our time together. The bogans also thought they were on vacation and didn't do any of the helping out with meals and expected me to do all their dishes. One put all the dishes in the sink and said: Are you going to wash them all? I looked at her w/my Suzanne glare and said: No, i'm washing my own dish. Do your own damn dishes. Needless to say I couldn't wait to get back to Perth and get away from them. I know that I will find stupid people everywhere and I can't let them get to me but seriously, there's a limit to stupidity.

And the best part was the butch lesbian tour guide. ...i'll leave it at that because i do not want to speak of her lol.

I have to say this tour had better accomodation than the past tour I went on; however, the experiences and activities involved were not entirely awesome. I wasn't too enthused about the farmstay but honestly it was pretty cool. Our room had four bunks so we had a small group sleeping in there :) plus a gecko! lol and there were animals like kangaroos, emus and donkeys on the farm too. The washroom facilities were...sparse lol. Two washrooms for 17 ppl not entirely awesome. And the "kitchen" was in an old milking barn. But once the sunset and it was pitch black dark, you could see the stars and it was amazing! I saw the big dipper...or big saucepan lol. The only freaky thing was it was pitch black and you don't know what's lurking around the tree...I was kind of scared a serial killer was walking around. FREEEEEAAAAAAAKKKKKKYYYYYY!

This tour really proved that your attitude goes a long way towards your enjoyment of any experience. Our tour guide was very negative and talked all the sites down, so we sold the sites short of how great they could've been. We went to an area called the Pinnacles, near sand dunes, and i thought it was pretty cool seeing all this sand in the middle of area but at the same time i was like ok let's see something really cool. Then her negativity rubbed off on me and I was not enjoying anything. Finally I decided to go with the flow and enjoy the ride...and boy what a ride! We spent soooo much time on the bus lol, i guess this is one of the perks of australia--everything is sooo far away from each other. Each city is about 2 hrs away, it's nice in a way because you see lots of wildlife and scenery :)

All in all it was a great tour--I'm hoping this tour will be a great way to prepare for alice springs...it's about 10 degrees hotter than Western Australia, around 42 today! yikes!, all I can do is prepare and hope for the best and the rest will be taken care of :) Also, I made some great people and our itineraries kind of match up so there's always that chance that we'll see each other again :)

Now all that's left is enjoying my last couple of days in Perth, packing for Alice Springs and resting up & hydrating myself for the adventure of a lifetime! It's gonna be amazing, bring it :)

Fear

I've got less than three months left of my amazing nz, oz and fiji trip and I have to say that at this point, I'm pretty happy that I'll be coming home! I'm not saying that I'm not having loads of fun and seeing great things, because I truly am; however, I am getting tired of being away from my support network. Email, Skype and talking over the phone isn't the same as seeing you all face to face and being able to hug you or laugh with you :(

After spending just about a month with my cousin and his family and then heading to the other side of the country on my own was terrifying! I hate to admit it but I was soooo scared and uncomfortable. I got used to having a family again and realized I'd be on my own again after so long and it was horrible. I'm not going to lie, I was itching to get out of Sydney but I guess choosing Western Australia as my jumping off point to start my aussie adventure may not have been the best choice because this town has nothing going on! Perth is pretty boring during the day with some free museums and art galleries and the CBD is a 10, 15 min walk away so it was a bit of a shock to my system and that made me more terrified about the rest of my trip. Terrified in the sense that I didn't know what to expect and I didn't know if I could handle it -- alot of feelings of self doubt went through my head. And that scared me too -- I thought to myself why would I choose to do this trip this way? I don't know what I'm doing! What is wrong with me? Who am i? I cried alot in the beginning of this leg of my trip--a whole lot! It took a couple of days during my tour to reaffirm my goals and my self confidence. Yes, things may go wrong; you may get injured (my knee is acting up again) and you may not be at the top of your game but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy what you are doing! And another thing--I've always had the problem where I listen to what other people say and I get discouraged. For example, some people say tours are expensive and blah blah blah->well for me, there is no other way I could've seen australia, i sure as hell won't be driving around oz!

This past week has brought about a whirlwind of feelings, positive ones and negative ones. I was just really worried about my capabilities and ability to cope with the harsh and different environments I'd be encountering. My skin is already reacting badly with Western Australia weather so I can only imagine what it will be like in the Red Center :( Or anywhere for that matter. And everytime I go into the water, I come out with all these bites on my leg...I don't know from what but they're a nuisance too! All these little itty bitty insignificant things made me want to cancel all my tours and head back to sydney where its safe! I know, it sounds craaazzzzyyyy! but that's how I felt. Till last night. Yesterday I was able to vent my feelings to someone and somehow it gave me the strength to go on and just do it! I'm still a long way from finishing my tours BUT this time next week I'll be sitting in Alice Springs-->the outback! Then the sunday after that I'll be in kangaroo island! and the sunday after that melbourne! so only a couple of weeks till I can get back to nice, clean city living :P and I have to remember that these tours will test me physically and mentally and it's all part of the journey--not everyone is superman, you do what you can and it's all good!

I've always tried to be brave and not let my fears stop me from trying new things and being happy and for some reason I had a moment of weakness and I almost let it ruin my entire trip! I'm thankful that I've met some great people in australia who give me some great advice and are genuinely kind--like Juan Ma from Spain. After I decided to be a brave princess and go out and about yesterday, Juan Ma and I went out for drinks and it was such fun! We talked about random shit and it was comforting and awesome--lots of laughs and whatnot :) I almost cancelled on him too but I'm glad I didn't. I met him on my tour to the South West and he's the sweetest guy ever--also very gay so don't worry mom and dad :P

So for now, I can only take this leg of my trip day by day because that's how I work. My knee injury may or may not prevent me from doing some of the hikes but I'm sure as hell gonna try to do my best and partake in what I can! My fear of bugs will not stop me from enjoying one of the natural world wonders--Uluru Rock! It may make it a tad harder, but I'll cope! I'll be brave and remember why I'm here. Missing everyone is part of the package--apparently it was in the fine print (or so i'm told!)

Tomorrow I start my next tour and it'll be interesting. I'm glad I'm on another tour because I don't have to worry about my meals and stuff BUT I do hate the accomodation they choose for us...they said that we'd have to stay in shared dorms (boys and girls) for some nights and I'm not totally comfortable with that...I'll try to get put into a female only dorm somehow *fingers crossed* i really hope I do! because I don't think I can stay in a room full of boys! EWWWW! lol. Yes we all become friends and everything but I don't really want to stay in their rooms. My limit is a 6 share dorm, not a 21 share dorm! oh wellz, all part of the experience right? makes me appreciate my alone time alot more!

anyhoos, I think i've laid it all out there and showed you that we all experience homesickness and according to all the backpackers I've met, everyone experiences it and you just have to work through it. There are times when I really want to come home but then I think about what I'd be missing out on but then I think I can always come back! so it's all a jumble up here :P I just have to stay focused and stay strong. And I need to stop resisting experiences and just let myself get absorbed and lost in them and not worry about anything else. Just be and enjoy!

love you all <3



german dude, me and juan ma last night after we had the yummiest fries!

Ngili Cave, Augusta, Albany, Wave Rock, Esperance Oh My!

G'day all!

I got back from my 5 day tour today (at night really) and I'm resting up in Perth before my next tour of Western Australia.

The tour was bumpy in the beginning--I guess it's the fear of the unknown that made me a little worried and hence act a bit "un-suzanne"ish. I was pretty timid and quiet in the beginning and I haven't been like that since I've started this trip. I've learned how to put myself out there and introduce myself to others and start conversations with people--BUT if the people you are talking to barely know english then it's another story, right? My first tour group was predominately german--around 15/21 ppl were german! Then there was one muslim girl from the UK, me, and one korean dude named Ching ho (i think...). It took a while to get to know everyone because the europeans became clique and I decided to be friends w/the korean dude cuz no one was talking to him. It turned out to be good cuz we learned a bit from each other and he took cool pictures of me. After the 3 day mark, we all became closer because the group got divided into two--the three day tour ppl and the 5 day tour ppl. There was one irritating dude who is german and is younger than me-christian was his name. He doesn't shut up and acts like a walking encyclopedia BUT he doesn't know anything! just a bunch of trivial crap. I wanted to slap him once too--like at the point when I was trying to climb this scary as hell rock mountain thing and couldn't cuz i was worried about how i'd get down and his answer was: roll down. you have no idea how much i wanted to go all "suzanne" on his ass! i swear to god, i would've tackled him and bashed his head into the rock...well not bash...just slam a couple of times :P oh boy, i'm sleeepy! lol

Today there was a 12 hr drive back into Perth, which started at 6am which meant we were up at 445am and ate at 5am. It was disgusting. I didn't "wake up" till around 10...sad really sad. Everyone was like: what is wrong with you? lol

I'm glad I went on this tour--as bumpy and weird as it was at times-->like one of the guides was really into showing us random trees so we'd stop for 10 mins to stare at trees...lol tres boring! and we would stop in dinky towns where only 500 people lived there and it was so strange, i've never been in a situation like that before! there was one fun bit--I was walking around at a grocery store when i saw a really cute aussie dude who had the awesomest thick blonde hair and suuupppper cute face! and to my crazy luck, he checked me out! i was like whaaaaaa? lol it was funny. and it gets better--we totally flirted! lol i know, i'm such a dork, i don't care! he was cuuuuute!

On this tour I conquered one of my fears--climbing the highest peak in SW Australia (at least I think that's what it is...). As we drove up to the peak, Frenchman's Peak, I looked at it and thought there is no way in hell i'm going to climb that. But what did i do? I went for it and tried. Real hard. It was terrifying. You know you're scared of heights when you're climbing a mountain and don't even turn around to enjoy the view. Finally I just had it and decided to stop and wait till everyone else was done going to the top and then I'd go back down with them. As I waited I had time to enjoy the view, sitting down and holding onto the rocks real hard! lol and that's when the old man guide showed up. By this point, i didn't really like him because it seemed like he didn't care about the job but sitting with him and having him share his stories with me, I learned not to take people for face value. There's more to life than what meets the eye! And to make things better, he helped me down by holding my hand, distracting me from my fears and just being really supportive. Totally unexpected, but thankful it happened. That changed my tour experience and trip outlook immensely. He told me it's ok if i can't do everything, we're not all superman. don't compare yourselves to other people, you do what's right for you! i'm very grateful for that :)

After looking at all the pictures, I've realized I really did have alot of fun on this tour--it's quite the adventure and I know for a fact i'll never do something like this again :) One of the downsides of the tour was the long bus rides so my knee injury is kind of restarting...it's hard to stretch out--especially with the lack of yoga studios around here, so i may have to redo my travel schedule somehow...i dunno, take it day by day.

One of the highlights on this trip has to be going to Esperance--the town with Australia's best beaches! NO JOKE! Sydney beaches don't hold a candle to these baby! These beaches were secluded, with gorgeous blue waters and beautiful sand that kind of crunched under your feet like snow! While walking along Lucky Bay I realized I may have found the secluded beach I want to get married at...now all I need is a willing man :P lol I also had time to reflect on my trip so far and re-align my desires and goals about the trip :) It was a great time. I know I'm not like all the other backpackers over here who use their trip to party--if that's what they want, that's great, it's just not for me. I'm here to take a break and figure out where I am and what I want from life. Sounds cheesy but who cares!

Oh ya, in Albany (i think) I saw the dark opera house, Western Australia's answer to the fantastic opera house in sydney! just a random fact for you all.

also another random fact: internet is crap on this side of the country...actually it's crap everywhere really. so as far as posting pictures goes, you will all have to wait till i get back to sydney! sorry :(

alright folks, i'm sleepy and even though everyone is still awake in my room :( i'm gonna try to sleep! night night everyone

Western Australia - Oh my!

Hey all!

So tonight marks the end to my second night of my five day tour of South Western Australia! It's been pretty amazing, the sights we've seen I could not have done it on my own, that's for sure! Yesterday I saw my first kangaroo, and my first "flock" of kangaroos and then I also saw the indian ocean for the first time! It's been amazing :)

One thing I can't stand is being on backpacker tours means I have to live by another person's rules. Tomorrow, team 3 (meaning me and some of my friends) has to wake up at 530am to prep brekkie. All the teams are given tasks and we rotate meal duties. It's all good, I haven't had to cook--yet! I hate having to wake up early...which is probably what i'll have to be doing for the next five weeks. ewwwness!

I've got a pretty good group with me too--everyone is very friendly and fun to be around...except for some sour grapes. I don't want to sound racist, but one thing I've learned is some european people are racist and don't like you for the simple reason that you are not white. It's sad, really. but oh wells, can't please them all.

Aside from all the amazing sights I've seen (which I will be posting photos of soon enough) I have had time to reflect on my trip so far. Those deleriously long (i know i spelled delerious wrong) bus rides are perfect for self reflection...as are our stops at random beach/coast lines :)

Anyhoos, I have like five mins left on my free internet so I'm gonna sign off now and see you all later! Gotta head to bed asap so I can wake up early.

Love you all!

Hello again!

Hey all!

Sorry for not blogging for a long time; I've been busy and lazy :P

Currently I'm in Perth, Western Australia!! It feels like I'm in a different country--it's uber hot and sunny! And it's weird, Perth looks like a city and yet it's totally empty. So far, I haven't done a whole lot in Perth, I arrived less than 12 hrs ago and all I've done is go to the grocery store and slept lol. I don't know why but lately I've been super tired...

Being on my own again after spending a couple of weeks with my cousin feels so strange. I miss him and his family so much but after a couple of days I'll get back into the groove of things! Tomorrow I'll start my first tour of Western Australia and I have no idea what to expect...I mean I know a little of what to expect but for the most part no...which, for someone who likes to plan things to a tee, is hard to deal with :P but i should learn from my past and realize you can't plan things to a tee...just ballpark it! I'm supposed to spend 2 weeks in Western Aussie and do two tours and at this point I don't know how I'll make it lol. Not saying there's nothing to do in Perth cuz there are some good day trips I can do but I dunno, I feel like I could've used my days better. It's just these first two weeks that's kind of spread out and oddly planned but it's all good, going with the flow.

My time in Sydney was awesome, and I will be going back--it's my "home base" in between all my trips! I went to the Blue Mountains which are truly gorgeous; the blue comes from the evaporated oils from the eucalyptus trees that cover the mountain. I will have to go back when it's nice and sunny so that I can hike it. After that I went to Canberra to see the Parliament Bldg; my cousin felt it was important for me to see it...it took me an hour to see it and then I got utterly bored! But at least I can say I went there and saw it :)

Anyhoos folks, I'll update more after my first day of touring--totally excited to see new things but at the same time I'm not loving how all these tours start super early. At least there's a bonus for coming all the way to perth from sydney is that I'm living on Sydney time--waking up at 6am over here is waking up in Sydney at 9am! woots!

Making sense of it all

I've been trying to come to terms with a few things lately...

Australia is definately different from New Zealand -> the comparison is kind of like comparing the States (boo!) to Canada (woo!). One biggie would be the difference between the diets--Sydney is choc full of fast food joints whereas the fast food joints in New Zealand were far and sparsely available. New Zealanders seem to be more tolerant of different races whereas people in Australia will stare at you--SERIOUSLY!

On the train to Milson's Point for the fireworks, my housemates and I were sitting across from a caucasian woman and her two young kids. The kids gawked at us and looked terrified (of three girls...) and the mother kept looking us up and down. Needless to say, I'm not totally loving the vibe over here. Although, it seems the universe heard my thoughts and sent me a very nice Aussie lady who watched our blanket for us while we walked around and enjoyed our NYE day :)

The pace of life is another gigantic difference between Kiwi land and Oz--New Zealanders are so chill! I loved it there <3 whereas Aussies are all about the daily 9-5 grind and making money...kinda like back home :(

All these differences brings me to my next discussion point--> dealing with the divide between how things should be and how things are. I'm on this trip to learn new things, see the way the world works and have a blast doing it...so does that include trying to change/impact things? I've seen situations where families leave the burden of bringing home the bacon on the shoulders of the woman of the house...and forcing her to take care of the entire household while she's at it. I don't think that's fair at all and me being the sweetheart that I am, I want to help these women learn that they can stand on their own two feet and speak their opinions to better themselves and their situation. ...But I don't want to butt in where I'm not supposed to. Which leaves me with another question: Do I learn from these sights and bring the knowledge back home?

I battled with the "shoulds" and "coulds" and "realities" of life for a while--my coworkers can vouch for this for sure! I don't know why but I feel people should live a life they are happy living--meaning they don't succumb to the negativity and harmful influences in their lives. I guess that could work for any situation though-- from domestic violence to high school grades and even choosing an ice cream flavour. I've seen things and was in situations I sure as hell didn't want to be in during my stay in Sydney and I wonder if I'm present for these instances because the universe is telling me something or because it's just life. I hate the expression "it's just life" because it sounds as if whomever said it has given up...living a meaningless life being other peoples' servant is not a part of life, being cursed at by your husband is not a part of life, being spanked is not a part of life--I could go on but I think you get the idea, right?

So what do you think? Is this just life or am I supposed to make use of these scenes?

Happy New Year!! Bonne Annee!!

Happy New Years everyone <3

Ever since my arrival in Sydney, I've been living every day like a dream. I knew I was in Australia but I couldn't believe I was really here! I couldn't believe I was really going to see the Sydney Harbour fireworks on nye! I know it sounds silly but I've been looking forward to this event for more than two years and I'm so proud of myself that I made it this far just for myself--I don't need no prince to make my dreams come true! lol joking, I need a prince to shoo away all the insects and lizards for me, to go to yoga with me, to hold my hand when I get scared, to make me feel like a princess...but I digress :P

The world-famous Sydney Harbour fireworks were mind-blowing! I had a blast-no joke. My housemates, Belinda and Karolin, and I headed out around 1 to get to Milson's Point-a prime fireworks viewing place! The good thing about getting there super early is that we got an amazing spot...the bad thing was that it was SUPERRR hot! I look like a toasted coconut. uber toasted. We spent the day picnicking, walking around, sleeping, reading and walking arcross the harbour bridge! It was an amazing way to spend the last day of 2010--super chill and crazy happy! lol. We headed back to our blanket around 445 and then tried to occupy ourselves for the next few hours taking silly gangsta photos and talking about random stuff. It was kind of weird spending nye with a couple of strangers but at the same time these two girls are amazingly welcoming and I'm very lucky to have such great housemates!

There was a fireworks pre-show at 9pm for all the families and young children so they could take all the kids home before the city got crazy. It was kinda cool, nice warm up for the real thing. ...and I kinda got teary eyed...yes I know I know, they're just fireworks but for me they meant much more--nye in Sydney symbolizes my growth into a woman who listens and follows her heart no matter what! That's how we do!

My housemate's friend, Tina and Betty, met up with us and we all had some very yummy champagne :) It was kind of hard bringing any alcohol or even glass into any of the viewing points last night--all the coppers were out and about patrolling the parks and city. Right next to our group, cops found pot but all they did was take it away--I was all WHOA!!! lol In Vancouver, the VPD or RCMP would have the pot smokers' asses! The cops give you two options: get rid of the alcohol or leave.

As the time slowly ticked to midnite, my group and I talked about so much--it was pretty cool just talking and chit chatting with them like I've known them forever! We talked about dreams, favourite 80s music (this theme appears often in my trip), job stuff, travel advice, etc etc. Finally we all saw the 10 second countdown appear on the harbour towers and the crowd started screaming with excitement (including yours truly!). It was an amazing atmosphere! Then of course the moment I've been waiting for came and the fireworks started. Man, if you have to see fireworks then you have to see 'em in Sydney! They were soooo loud and massive and I loved it. The display was gorgeous, so many colours and shapes and man it was just beautiful. There was a screen on the bridge that had random shapes appear like a happy face, an exclamation point, an "X"-to symbolize the year's theme Make Your Mark!, and a hand. It was pretty spiffy. There was a gold waterfall from the bridge too! It was gorgeous <3 Fireworks came from everywhere--the bridge, the opera house, Luna Park, Darling Harbour, it was epic! I loved it and it was the experience of a lifetime.

After the fireworks of course came the massive crowds which meant we had to walk to the next train station which wasn't too far...but then we couldn't take the damn train and had to bus it. All I'm gonna say is kids (i.e.: anyone under 20) should not drink cuz they look like idiots. Finally we got home and I couldn't wait to take a shower--an entire day's worth of sunscreen, sweat and dewy grass was on me and it was yuckyyyyy! I have to say, my first shower of 2011 may be the best shower of my life...yet :P lol. My first "meal" of 2011 at 3am was pretty good too-->fave foods: soy milk, banana & chocolate! YUMMMM! not healthy at all but whatever :P

It was a pretty amazing new year's eve for me and I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for me :)

Stay safe people and happy new year!