So I know you all probably think I'm crazy for cutting my trip a tad short and coming home--at times I wonder if I'm crazy too lol--but in all truthfulness I did it because I wanted to come back. I never thought I'd ever be at that point in my journey where I came back because I wanted to, not because I had to. I'm glad I got to that point :)
Let's face it: I was pretty miserable before I left for this amazing backpacking adventure of mine; working 9-5 at a crummy job, listening to other people's negativity day in and day out and floating through my life watching the days go by...ok maybe i'm being a tad melodramatic but the idea is that I was bored and unhappy. I had amazing things going on in my life--awesome friends, a fab yoga teacher who nurtured my yoga practice and taught me alot about myself and a pretty great support system at my gym lol--but something was missing in my life. My personal goals were somewhat up in the air; I found myself saying many times "I know what I want, I just don't know how to get there"...which was frustrating to say the least.
I grew up knowing that I would be an independent woman and didn't need anyone to take care of me. I figured I'd have a job and be able to fend for myself, no problem! Then after this trip, I realized, there's so much more to "taking care of yourself" than just the financials. You need to be mentally strong in order to survive--you need to have faith in yourself and know that you can do whatever the hell you want when you put your mind to it...AND fuck everything else. The self-realization didn't require a trip halfway around the world; I had these skills in me but never got the chance to use any of them till recently. It seems that putting myself in unpredictable situations brought out the best in me. Also, if you are an independent person or not, you need to know who your true friends are because sooner or later you will need someone to talk to, someone to make you feel better and I'm glad I had some great people looking out for me :) ...even if I wouldn't admit that I wanted their help :P
The experiences of my trip aren't exactly what I expected...the moments I laughed, cried, danced and LIVED surpassed my expectations :) I thought I'd just go and do a bunch of sight-seeing and see what happens lol and instead it somehow turned itself into this gigantic adventure where I learned alot about myself, my friends, my family and the world. Which is why, after my return from Fiji to Sydney, I had a really big problem. I realized that I was ready to head home; however, I was dealing with some MAJOR denial. I tried to think about it rationally for two days--whether or not I should stay, what are the pros and cons, and why exactly I wanted to stay. And I kept going in circles...really big, weird circles. Thankfully I had my bestie Sana to help me through all this and she helped me organize my thoughts and see things at a different standpoint.
And I realized I had to come back because I wanted to come back--whatever I was meant to achieve on this trip had been achieved and dragging out my trip may have sucked the essence out of it...like how you have this really yummy chocolate bar (like the gigantic cadbury ones from oz) and you want to feel the chocolate-induced bliss forever so you only eat one piece a month and then a year and a half later you go to eat the last piece and its stale. stale and disgusting. that's what i didn't want for my adventure. a stale and disgusting aftertaste. (and btw, my chocolate bar analogy is not an actual experience, i gobbled all the chocolates up w/in the 1st week of opening the pack...if even that :P lol)
So this doesn't mark the end of my backpacking adventure--this is just the beginning baby :D ...the beginning of what? ...keep reading and you'll find out <3
*muah*
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Never Look Back
Australia's coat of arms portrays the kangaroo and emu as the unofficial animals of Australia. Why, you ask? Because those are the only two animals that can't walk backwards :) I've learned alot on my travels and one of them was to not look back; always keep your life moving forward in a positive direction. Whether the positive direction means having no regrets, achieving your goals or whatever, you can be assured that Aussies live life to the fullest.
That is one thing I admire about Australians--especially my cousin. I've learned alot on my trip and have to say I did live life to the fullest, perhaps for the first time in my entire life! I can happily say that I don't have any regrets about my travels--yes, I've been stressed out plenty-a-times but it's all worked out and I have great experiences to show for it.
Throughout my travels and living in different countries, I've seen and experienced how people can have different mentalities and how this affects their well-being. New Zealanders were pretty carefree and happy but there was always this element of restrictiveness...something was always holding them back, whether that was money or inhibitions or something. In Fiji, I noticed a few people were very concerned about their past and what happened to them back then and how those events are affecting them now. And unfortunately, these people let those fears and experiences hinder their present experiences and future aspirations. A wise man once told me 'Life is for living' and that's what I intend to do and I hope you all do the same. Go ahead and make mistakes because you never know what will happen unless you try, right? Go jump out of a plane, go ahead and drink 7 bottles of wine--whatever it is, just do it! You never know what will happen tomorrow.
Everyone has their own outlook on life and I respect that--however, don't let it inhibit your happiness :) If you're happy reading a book and staying home on a friday night, do it! If you're happy partying all weekend then do it! (but be responsible!). ...And if you want to pack your bags and go travel for a few months and please go do it :) Travelling is one of the best things I've done in my life along with being born, winning the sack race in kindy, graduating from uni and raising money for the underwear affair (which reminds me...must start training! :P)
It's important not to mix up looking back and hating your life with reflecting on your experiences and learning from them. Since I've returned from Fiji, I feel whole again. It sounds odd as I thought I was whole before I left on the trip but in reality, you never stop growing; not when your 7, 27 or even 77! I've been looking back at my trip and the Suzanne who started this trip in Auckland NZ is not the same Suzanne who looked back at me in the mirror this morning. It's so weird but I just can't believe how much I've grown. It's pretty damn amazing what this trip has done for me. It's taught me to be strong (...even though i've had times where i've cried on this trip...sorry if you had to listen to me on the phone crying), to learn how to know what i want, and to understand that i am allowed to be happy and i shouldn't have to sacrifice that for others.
One thing the old Suzanne always did was worry what other people thought of her and worry about the repurcussions of what they would say about her. Now, I don't care. I mean, I will take into consideration the advice people give me but I'm not going to waste my time on what gossip mongers may be saying about me or what random distant relatives may think of me--the same family members who have known me my whole life but haven't shown me the same love and good times as my bhaia in Oz has who has only known me for 3 months :)
Today I ate at the Lindt Chocolate Cafe and mannnnnn was it good! :) I know for a fact that I've gained weight and won't fit into half my clothes back home but i don't care. And I know that I will still have to work on my relationship with my family when I get back (which I care about) but I won't stress about it. Cuz in the end, there's no need to stress about life. Just live it the way you want to, be happy and deal with whatever comes you way.
Cheers <3
That is one thing I admire about Australians--especially my cousin. I've learned alot on my trip and have to say I did live life to the fullest, perhaps for the first time in my entire life! I can happily say that I don't have any regrets about my travels--yes, I've been stressed out plenty-a-times but it's all worked out and I have great experiences to show for it.
Throughout my travels and living in different countries, I've seen and experienced how people can have different mentalities and how this affects their well-being. New Zealanders were pretty carefree and happy but there was always this element of restrictiveness...something was always holding them back, whether that was money or inhibitions or something. In Fiji, I noticed a few people were very concerned about their past and what happened to them back then and how those events are affecting them now. And unfortunately, these people let those fears and experiences hinder their present experiences and future aspirations. A wise man once told me 'Life is for living' and that's what I intend to do and I hope you all do the same. Go ahead and make mistakes because you never know what will happen unless you try, right? Go jump out of a plane, go ahead and drink 7 bottles of wine--whatever it is, just do it! You never know what will happen tomorrow.
Everyone has their own outlook on life and I respect that--however, don't let it inhibit your happiness :) If you're happy reading a book and staying home on a friday night, do it! If you're happy partying all weekend then do it! (but be responsible!). ...And if you want to pack your bags and go travel for a few months and please go do it :) Travelling is one of the best things I've done in my life along with being born, winning the sack race in kindy, graduating from uni and raising money for the underwear affair (which reminds me...must start training! :P)
It's important not to mix up looking back and hating your life with reflecting on your experiences and learning from them. Since I've returned from Fiji, I feel whole again. It sounds odd as I thought I was whole before I left on the trip but in reality, you never stop growing; not when your 7, 27 or even 77! I've been looking back at my trip and the Suzanne who started this trip in Auckland NZ is not the same Suzanne who looked back at me in the mirror this morning. It's so weird but I just can't believe how much I've grown. It's pretty damn amazing what this trip has done for me. It's taught me to be strong (...even though i've had times where i've cried on this trip...sorry if you had to listen to me on the phone crying), to learn how to know what i want, and to understand that i am allowed to be happy and i shouldn't have to sacrifice that for others.
One thing the old Suzanne always did was worry what other people thought of her and worry about the repurcussions of what they would say about her. Now, I don't care. I mean, I will take into consideration the advice people give me but I'm not going to waste my time on what gossip mongers may be saying about me or what random distant relatives may think of me--the same family members who have known me my whole life but haven't shown me the same love and good times as my bhaia in Oz has who has only known me for 3 months :)
Today I ate at the Lindt Chocolate Cafe and mannnnnn was it good! :) I know for a fact that I've gained weight and won't fit into half my clothes back home but i don't care. And I know that I will still have to work on my relationship with my family when I get back (which I care about) but I won't stress about it. Cuz in the end, there's no need to stress about life. Just live it the way you want to, be happy and deal with whatever comes you way.
Cheers <3
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Fiji is paradise
Well I finally did it! I finally went to Fiji to see where I'm from and to experience what that paradise has to offer. And I have to say, I had the time of my life!
The start of my journey to Fiji was very difficult--my flight got cancelled two days in a row (eff virgin blue to hell! seriously) and then i finally got onto the Air Pacific flight the afternoon of the 24th :) After a couple of delays I arrived in Nadi, Fiji and it was getting dark. The one thing that made the past two days' worth of misery disappear was seeing my aunt and uncle waiting for me. I hadn't seen my aunt in 10 years and I've never even met my uncle--it was a dream come true to see them waiting for me at the airport...sadly, they were waiting for me since 2pm :( I felt pretty bad that they waited for me all day and didn't know about my flight delay till it was too late. but that's all over and done with. from the second i met up with them to the moment we said our goodbyes, they gave me so much love--so much that i almost didn't want to leave fiji!
The main purpose of my trip was to see where I come from and to see all my family. It was kind of a shock to find out I don't have tons and tons of relatives in Fiji--my Fua and Fufa (aunt and uncle) and my cousin Binnu on my dad's side and my two mausis and mausas and a nana (grand uncle or great uncle whatever its called). It was lovely meeting everyone; they welcomed me into their homes with open arms and so much love. So much so that it was really hard to leave :( I was thinking about extending my stay in Fiji but the mosquitoes had their own agenda...
Every morning I woke up to find more and more mosquito bites. And these weren't itty bitty mossie bites, they would swell up and were uber itchy. At one point, both my legs were filled with bites :( Ugh, it super sucked.
My Fua and Fufa are super cute--they're both in their 70s and kind of ill but they were the best tour guides I could ask for :) Fufa was very enthusiastic about showing me everything there is to see in Fiji and of making sure I had a good time. And I did! I ate the yummiest food ever at his place--the jam was delish, the taro and cassava was the best and my favourite food in fiji has to be the biscuits :P chocolate biscuits have no actual chocolate chips in them BUT they tasted like chocolate :) yummers. They're mechanic/house helper named Sanjay also lived with us in Pacific Harbour and it was pretty cool having him there. He was kind of shy in the beginning but after a couple of days we became good friends. One thing I really love about people in Fiji is that they are very open and loving--totally different from the treatment you would get in Australia or New Zealand or even Canada for that matter! It was really hard to say good bye to everyone :(
Staying with my mausi and mausa was really fun too. I had three cousins to hang out with--the youngest is Nikita and she turned me into a 8 year old again :P I played so many games with her and watched movies, it was fun. ...kinda tiring at times but fun :)
The scenery in Fiji was gorgeous--when I stayed at my mausi's house, we have to go to the outside sink to brush our teeth and from the "window" you have this gorgeous view of the mountains--which are covered with trees, lush beautiful trees! And the frangipanis are everywhere! loved it <3
So much to say about Fiji yet I can't put my experiences and joy into words! So much happened in those short two weeks...
Ahh Fiji!
The start of my journey to Fiji was very difficult--my flight got cancelled two days in a row (eff virgin blue to hell! seriously) and then i finally got onto the Air Pacific flight the afternoon of the 24th :) After a couple of delays I arrived in Nadi, Fiji and it was getting dark. The one thing that made the past two days' worth of misery disappear was seeing my aunt and uncle waiting for me. I hadn't seen my aunt in 10 years and I've never even met my uncle--it was a dream come true to see them waiting for me at the airport...sadly, they were waiting for me since 2pm :( I felt pretty bad that they waited for me all day and didn't know about my flight delay till it was too late. but that's all over and done with. from the second i met up with them to the moment we said our goodbyes, they gave me so much love--so much that i almost didn't want to leave fiji!
The main purpose of my trip was to see where I come from and to see all my family. It was kind of a shock to find out I don't have tons and tons of relatives in Fiji--my Fua and Fufa (aunt and uncle) and my cousin Binnu on my dad's side and my two mausis and mausas and a nana (grand uncle or great uncle whatever its called). It was lovely meeting everyone; they welcomed me into their homes with open arms and so much love. So much so that it was really hard to leave :( I was thinking about extending my stay in Fiji but the mosquitoes had their own agenda...
Every morning I woke up to find more and more mosquito bites. And these weren't itty bitty mossie bites, they would swell up and were uber itchy. At one point, both my legs were filled with bites :( Ugh, it super sucked.
My Fua and Fufa are super cute--they're both in their 70s and kind of ill but they were the best tour guides I could ask for :) Fufa was very enthusiastic about showing me everything there is to see in Fiji and of making sure I had a good time. And I did! I ate the yummiest food ever at his place--the jam was delish, the taro and cassava was the best and my favourite food in fiji has to be the biscuits :P chocolate biscuits have no actual chocolate chips in them BUT they tasted like chocolate :) yummers. They're mechanic/house helper named Sanjay also lived with us in Pacific Harbour and it was pretty cool having him there. He was kind of shy in the beginning but after a couple of days we became good friends. One thing I really love about people in Fiji is that they are very open and loving--totally different from the treatment you would get in Australia or New Zealand or even Canada for that matter! It was really hard to say good bye to everyone :(
Staying with my mausi and mausa was really fun too. I had three cousins to hang out with--the youngest is Nikita and she turned me into a 8 year old again :P I played so many games with her and watched movies, it was fun. ...kinda tiring at times but fun :)
The scenery in Fiji was gorgeous--when I stayed at my mausi's house, we have to go to the outside sink to brush our teeth and from the "window" you have this gorgeous view of the mountains--which are covered with trees, lush beautiful trees! And the frangipanis are everywhere! loved it <3
So much to say about Fiji yet I can't put my experiences and joy into words! So much happened in those short two weeks...
Ahh Fiji!
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