Alright, now for my philosophical post...
The purpose of my three weeks in New Zealand was to prepare myself for Oz...but I didn't think that my awesome experiences in NZ would alter the purpose of my Oz trip. I'm still here to have tons of fun and party during nye BUT I think I may actually be trying to find myself. Don't laugh ok! Lol
But I don't mean "finding myself" as in figuring out who I am. I already know that--i'm a feisty, bubbly, smart cookie who knows what she wants in life but doesn't always know how to get it. The type of "finding myself" I'm gonna be doing on this trip is meeting all the family I have and learning about my roots and where I truly come from. I remember whenever someone would ask me where I was from, I would always answer back--Canada or that I'm Canadian. Then the person would ask the question I hate the most: What are you? lol. the reason I had such a problem answering that was because I didn't really have a connection to my heritage. Yes I had my family and my parents telling me stories, but I guess I needed to see things and meet lots of people to figure it out for myself. I hate being told what to do or what to think--I always gotta figure it out for myself!
& I know what you all must be thinking: Suzanne said she wasn't going to visit family cuz that may ruin the trip. And you know what i'm thinking: WTF was i on?! lol meeting family and seeing how everyone interacts with each other has enriched my life so much and I hope I can continue doing that on my trip in Australia and Fiji. ...my heart is telling me to go to Fiji asap. Which is totally odd cuz I wanted to spend the majority of my time in Oz...
So my advice and I guess my message at this leg of the trip is: plan things out, but don't put too much emphasis on your expectations that this will happen and that will happen and you're gonna do this and this and it'll be great or you won't do that cuz it'll suck -->i started like that and i've made it my mantra to follow my heart and everything will fall into place!
i may not be doing the typical backpacker thing where you just wander hostel to hostel and meet random people who you may or may not meet again but then again, i'm not typical and i've never done anything typical in my life ;)
follow your heart peeps, if it says sit indoors and just people watch then do it, if it says do your own thing then do it and if it says tell everyone you love them then do it.
Love you all :)
Sounds like you are finding yourself already! being on your own meeting with family...being seen as an adult and independant from your family here probably makes your experiences different when you meet your extended family. that way you can negotiate your experiences as an individual and truly begin to answer the question of who you are.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to what you are going through. Comin back to Vancity after 4 months has been different--both reassuring and comforting to be with my family again but also feeling the need to go back and prove myself on my own...which i will do when i go back by myself this time. And it will be at least another 8 months until i come back again for a visit. One thing is for sure though...this is my home and i want to be here...even as i take my interlude in tdot.
happy travels!!!
I completely feel the same way about trying to be more in touch with my roots. I think that explains why I keep listening to Asian music, watching Asian dramas, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear that you're going to reconnect with your roots! When will you be in Fiji?
Love you too!